And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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