ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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