We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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