Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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