So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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