You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
