i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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