I have demons in me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
