thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
