Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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