Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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