You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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