I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
