remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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