tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
