i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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