i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize