i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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