so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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