you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
