No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
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He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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