you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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