you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
