My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
