It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
