Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
