i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
