She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
