you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
