You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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