i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
