fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
