There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
