it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
