Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
