wakey wakey hands off snakey
too bad you live with your parents still
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
