So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
