there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
