I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How external is "for external use only"?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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