I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
