So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
