i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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