there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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