I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
if only i could text you this smell
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
