Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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