Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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