We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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