remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
