A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize