She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
