I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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