1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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