Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
