grandma shit on top of the toilet
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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