I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
