There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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